Kind & Wicked Games

So many great choices I’ve made in life fall under this umbrella. I think that reading

was initially a choice to think about AI, but ended up teaching me about life.

For those who haven’t heard of these -

Kind Games: The rules are defined and the limits are set. (Chess)

Wicked Games: The rules are unclear and the limits aren’t known. (Work)

There are many games that fall between these, but just being able to

helps so much.

For example, many of my relationships have struggled because relationships can be Wicked games, but seen as Kind games.

You see marriage as a Kind game, following the rules laid out by the Denmark Law. I see marriage as a Wicked game, where things change, and country laws are mostly made up.

This is an extreme example. One a bit more realistic is family.

In my experience, family fights often happen because everyone assumes 1) we are in a kind game and 2) the rules are well known.

This has never been the case in my experience. Generations change, environments change, and family friends change. (Creating a wicked game.)

How have I helped my relationships with this? Meta-Conversations about our conversations. The recognition that the rules are too complex for us to ‘see’ all of them, the recognition that the playing field is always changing under our feet.